As leaders we want individuals on our teams to succeed and as parents we want our children to succeed. When Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, was asked about the similarities between leadership and parenting, he suggested tough love is a critical skill in both contexts. I’ve recreated Grant’s “Tough Love Matrix of Leadership and Parenting” below. Tough love combines two essential elements: caring deeply and setting high expectations

Many of my childhood memories involve some kind of competition with my older brother. From soccer in the backyard, to swimming races in...

Shortly after I arrived as a new faculty member at the Hotel School at Cornell University, I was welcomed by Giuseppe Pezzotti, a legendary faculty member known for his warm hospitality. He stopped by my office with a thoughtful gesture: he shared a copy of The Billionaire Who Wasn’t: How Chuck Feeney Made and Gave Away a Fortune Without Anyone Knowing  with me. This book not only introduced me to the remarkable story of Chuck Feeney but also offered lessons on philanthropy t

During my years of helping highly-motivated students begin and advance their careers, I’ve observed a common pattern as they develop...

My career is immensely fulfilling. I am able to engage with insightful students and colleagues, present at conferences, and empower professionals in their communication journeys. Yet, amidst these rewarding experiences, I often grapple with a distinct feeling: awareness of the scarcity of time. You might also struggle with the feeling of not having enough - be it time, money, love or opportunities. The psychology of this concept reveals that scarcity generates a sense of urge

During my junior year of college, I wanted to explore a possible career in the wealth management field. When I was offered an internship at the first place I applied, I quickly accepted the position without giving the details of the role much thought. However, within the first few days, I realized I had made a poor decision. I thought I would be learning about investment strategies and sitting in on client meetings, but I spent almost all of my time leading the effort to move

In the second year of my MBA program, I applied for a coveted position with the U.S. federal government. After months of rigorous preparation and sacrifices, including missing out on time with family and friends, I faced a full-day interview in Washington, DC. Despite my best efforts, I wasn’t offered the job. The rejection made me wonder: Did I not work hard enough? Such doubts point to the hard work fallacy—a deeply held belief that effort = success. Of course, a variety of

After I graduated from college and settled into professional life, I realized that making friends as an adult wasn’t as easy as making friends as a student. I wanted to expand my social circle, but I wasn’t sure how. Around the same time, I learned about Robert Cialdini’s research on reciprocity in his now classic book Influence . His research found that when someone gives first, they create an obligation in others to reciprocate with a similar behavior, gift, or service. Tha

Just over a year ago, a former student reached out to me for some advice about a workplace relationship that was causing her stress. I recall Samantha (not her real name) being an excellent student and highly respected by her peers and the faculty. After graduating about three years ago, she went to work for a financial services organization where was quickly promoted and has earned consistent praise from her managers for her strong analytical ability and excellent client man

At about the midpoint of the last semester, a student enrolled in one of my classes stopped by my office. After a few minutes of small talk, she said, “I’m really stressed right now because I’m failing your class.” After suggesting there must be some mistake, I checked the gradebook and confirmed that her average was a B. Then it dawned on me that, to her, B-level work was the equivalent of failing. Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, striving for exce