At about the midpoint of the last semester, a student enrolled in one of my classes stopped by my office. After a few minutes of small talk, she said, “I’m really stressed right now because I’m failing your class.” After suggesting there must be some mistake, I checked the gradebook and confirmed that her average was a B. Then it dawned on me that, to her, B-level work was the equivalent of failing. Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, striving for exce

I recently met with a student who had a problem that most soon-to-be graduates would love to have: he had two job offers. He began by telling me a little bit about both opportunities. Offer A Offer B Well-known company Lesser-known company 80-90 hour workweek 50-60 hour workweek Above-average starting salary Average starting salary Competitive environment Supportive environment Four hours from hometown Close to hometown Unknown supervisor Supervisor known for mentorship

A team of coworkers was working on a tight deadline to complete an important project. One team member, Kim, consistently seemed to be...

I learned to be a manager while I was learning to be a teacher. After graduating from university, I had a job that involved managing others. And, at the same time, I began teaching part-time as an adjunct professor. During this time I observed many parallels between the two professions. In the classroom, I learned that if I clearly communicated my expectations to students, gave them the resources they needed, and checked in with them along the way, most of them would enjoy my

How to apply ideas from "How to Win Friends and Influence People" at networking events.

When we face difficult situations, it is common to feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or anxious. In these moments, we sometimes lose control of our emotions. One key to relationship success is recognizing when we are struggling and taking steps to get back on track. The problem is that once our emotions kick in, it’s not always easy to manage and express emotions in a way that is appropriate. The ability to regulate emotions is a critical interpersonal skill, and it's especially

How often do you find yourself getting frustrated because of someone else's behavior? We can easily fall into the trap of thinking that other people's actions are a direct reflection of how they feel about us or how they perceive us. The reality, however, is that most people are just going about their own lives and dealing with their own problems and issues. Most of the time, other people's behavior has nothing to do with us. Let's consider some examples and what might really

People tell you what they care about all the time, if you know what to watch for. A look at how Steven Reiss's 16 basic desires can sharpen the way you observe, and the way you communicate.

Most groups run on unspoken assumptions about how to communicate, give feedback, and handle conflict. A facilitated conversation makes those expectations visible. This is a step-by-step process for helping any group create its own agreements.

I never heard my grandfather say anything bad about anyone. Sometime in college I started to notice that he had a way of finding the positive angle and saying it warmly. The phrase if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all took on a different meaning for me after that. Interpreted literally, it can sound like a suggestion to avoid conflict or sidestep hard conversations. But the phrase is about how you say things, not whether you say them. Hard convers