Updated: Mar 29
A team of coworkers was working on a tight deadline to complete an important project. One team member, Kim, consistently seemed to be causing delays. The other team members were starting to get frustrated with her and quickly concluded that she was not doing her fair share of the work.
However, rather than immediately getting angry or confrontational, the team leader decided to approach the situation with the assumption of good intentions. She pulled Kim aside and asked if everything was okay and if there was anything that the team could do to help her catch up.
Kim confided that she had been struggling with some personal issues that were impacting her ability to focus at work. The team leader listened with empathy and offered to help Kim find resources to support her in addressing these issues.
By assuming best intentions - giving the struggling colleague the benefit of the doubt - the team leader was able to approach the situation with kindness, rather than frustration. As a result, Kim was able to obtain the support she needed to get back on track. Not only was the project completed successfully, this approach helped strengthen the team’s sense of trust.
Assuming best intentions is a mindset that involves assuming that other people’s actions are motivated by good intentions, rather than assuming that they are trying to hurt, deceive, or take advantage of us.
Benefits of Assuming Best Intentions
Assuming best intentions can be help us:
Foster positive relationships. We are more likely to approach others with kindness when we assume that they are acting with good intentions. This can create a positive feedback loop, as the other person is more likely to respond positively to our approach and treat us with kindness in return. In contrast, if we approach others with suspicion, they may be more likely to react defensively and the relationship may suffer.
Avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. When we assume that others are acting with good intentions, we are more likely to try to understand their perspective and find common ground, rather than immediately jumping to conclusions or becoming defensive. This can help to prevent misunderstandings from escalating into full-blown conflicts.
Be more open-minded and receptive to new ideas. When we are open to the possibility that others might have valid points of view that differ from our own, we are more likely to listen and learn from them. This can help us to grow as individuals and to expand our understanding of the world around us.
Practice Assuming Best Intentions
Adjusting your mindset to assume best intentions takes time and practice. Included below are four things you can do to develop the habit.
Take a moment to reflect on your own assumptions. Are you quick to jump to negative conclusions about others’ intentions? If so, try to be more mindful of this tendency and make a conscious effort to give others the benefit of the doubt.
Seek to understand the other person’s perspective. When conflicts arise, try to see things from the other person’s point of view. Ask questions and try to understand where they are coming from.
Communicate openly. If you have concerns, try to address them honestly, rather than letting them go unaddressed.
Remember that everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect, and it’s important to be forgiving of others’ mistakes.
In general, workplace cultures that value open communication, trust, and collaboration may be more conducive to assuming best intentions. These types of cultures tend to foster a sense of teamwork and mutual support, which can make it easier to assume that others are acting with good intentions.
Recognize the Downsides to Assuming Best Intentions
While assuming best intentions can be a helpful mindset in many situations, there may be downsides to this approach. Consider the following drawbacks to assuming best intentions:
It can lead to being taken advantage of. When we assume that others are acting with best intentions, we may be more likely to overlook warning signs that someone is taking advantage of us.
It can prevent us from addressing issues. We may be less likely to confront conflicts head-on if we always assume that others are acting with best intentions. We may allow problems to fester and potentially escalate over time.
It may not be realistic in all situations. While it can be helpful to assume good intentions in many cases, there may be situations where it is not realistic or appropriate to do so. For example, if someone has a history of dishonest or manipulative behavior, it may not be appropriate to assume best intentions on their part.
It can be draining. Constantly assuming best intentions can be emotionally exhausting, especially if we are consistently let down or taken advantage of as a result.
Overall, we should recognize that assuming best intentions is a mindset that can be helpful in many situations, but it’s not always appropriate or realistic in every case. For example, let’s revisit the opening story about the team leader who assumed best intentions when Kim was causing delays to an important team project. What if Kim had a history of procrastinating or a pattern of focusing on her individual efforts at the expense of the team? In this situation, you might correctly look for another approach.
Alternatives to Assuming Best Intentions
Workplace relationships and cultures that are characterized by high levels of competition, secrecy, or mistrust may not be as conducive to assuming best intentions. In these types of cultures, it may be more difficult to trust that others are acting with good intentions and it may be more appropriate to consider one of the alternatives described below.
Assume neutrality. Instead of assuming that others are acting with good or bad intentions, try to approach situations with a neutral mindset. Acknowledge that you don’t know the other person’s motivations and try to gather more information before jumping to conclusions.
Assume skepticism. If you are dealing with someone who has a history of deceptive or manipulative behavior, it may be more appropriate to assume skepticism rather than good intentions. Approach interactions with caution and be on the lookout for warning signs.
Assume self-interest. Recognize that people are more likely to act in their own best interests rather than trying to hurt or deceive others. This approach can be helpful in negotiation situations, where self-interest is more expected.
Assume best intentions with caution. Assume good intentions while also being mindful of potential risks. Give others the benefit of the doubt while also being aware of potential problems and address them when necessary.
Ultimately, the best approach to interpersonal relationships depends on the specific situation and the individuals involved. Be mindful of your own assumptions and choose an approach that feels appropriate and realistic for the situation.