One of the most consistent patterns I observe working with senior leaders is the gap between how clearly a strategy is understood at the top of an organization and how slowly that understanding spreads through the rest of it. A leadership team has spent months developing a direction. They have worked through the problem, stress-tested the options, and reached alignment. By the time they communicate it to the broader organization, the message seems clear to everyone in that ro

Many communication challenges are not about what we say but how quickly we say it. This post explores how emotion labeling can help professionals slow the moment between feeling and responding so their message reflects intention rather than impulse.

When I was young, I learned that when we were planning for guests to visit, we needed to clean the house. I had to tidy my stuffed animals and put my Legos away. The living room needed vacuuming and the countertops needed to be clear. That’s how I understood hospitality at the time. A little later, I began to notice another version of hospitality when we visited my grandparents. My grandmother was usually in the kitchen, preparing food. She focused on what she was making, how

Imagine two professionals on the same team. Both are smart. Both care about doing good work. The first is highly competent. Their work is accurate, efficient, and technically strong. They meet expectations consistently, but spend little time building relationships beyond what is required to get tasks done. The second is also competent. Not exceptional at everything, but solid and reliable. In addition to doing the work, this individual invests time in relationships. They prio

When I was in college, I watched the TV series The West Wing . Characters would get into intense, sometimes heated disagreements about high-stakes issues. Voices were raised. They’d argue over fundamental principles. And then, often in the very next scene, those same people would work together civilly, almost as if nothing relational had been damaged. At the time, I was skeptical. I wondered whether that kind of behavior actually happened in real workplaces, or whether it was

Every semester, when course evaluations are released, I feel a mix of anticipation and curiosity. I genuinely enjoy reading them. It is meaningful to see how students describe their experience and what they took away from the course. Those comments remind me why I am an educator. And then something predictable happens. I can read 20 positive comments and feel encouraged by them. But one critical comment will often stick with me far longer than the rest. For a long time, I tho

Open and honest questions create space for people to think, feel, and make sense of their own experience. I learned the value of this approach at home before I ever applied it in a professional setting. For many years, when my wife started to describe a problem, my instinct was to solve it. My attention focused on diagnosing the issue and responding with suggestions, based on the belief that helping meant offering answers. Over time, I realized that much of the time my wife w

Earlier in my career, I worked with someone who responded to feedback with silence. After I finished sharing my thoughts, there was no visible reaction. No nod. No follow-up question. No verbal acknowledgment. We would simply move on. Over time, I noticed how my mind began assigning meaning to that silence. I had a judgment: This feedback clearly is not valued. I formed an opinion: This person probably does not want coaching at all. I even thoughts to myself: Do you want this

In all my years of reading about, working with, listening to, and interviewing business leaders, it won’t come as a surprise that not one has ever suggested they chose their line of work because they love email. However, almost all of them acknowledge email is a big part of how work gets done in their organization and sending/receiving email accounts for a significant portion of their work day. Since email continues to be how work gets done in most organizations, we all need

Leadership is enacted through communication. When it comes to speaking, leaders have many opportunities to influence others from high-stakes strategy presentations to ceremonial remarks at internal functions and public events. Authentic leaders convince audiences to care and are better able to accomplish their goals. Boardroom presentations matter, but they only account for a small portion of a leader’s communication. Informal interactions during small meetings and ceremonial