Early in my career, I worked in a department where the office manager kept track of our vacation time. Every month, she’d send out a...

When we face difficult situations, it is common to feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or anxious. In these moments, we sometimes lose control of our emotions. One key to relationship success is recognizing when we are struggling and taking steps to get back on track. The problem is that once our emotions kick in, it’s not always easy to manage and express emotions in a way that is appropriate. The ability to regulate emotions is a critical interpersonal skill, and it's especially

How often do you find yourself getting frustrated because of someone else's behavior? We can easily fall into the trap of thinking that other people's actions are a direct reflection of how they feel about us or how they perceive us. The reality, however, is that most people are just going about their own lives and dealing with their own problems and issues. Most of the time, other people's behavior has nothing to do with us. Let's consider some examples and what might really

Earlier in my career, I worked with someone who responded to feedback with silence. After I finished sharing my thoughts, there was no visible reaction. No nod. No follow-up question. No verbal acknowledgment. We would simply move on. Over time, I noticed how my mind began assigning meaning to that silence. I had a judgment: This feedback clearly is not valued. I formed an opinion: This person probably does not want coaching at all. I even thoughts to myself: Do you want this

Most meetings aren't memorable, but I recall attending one where an important topic was on the agenda, and I knew leaders within the organization attended with the intent to listen. However, when the dialogue headed in a direction that made one leader uncomfortable, he stopped listening and made a variety of statements I suspect he wishes he could take back. We’ve all been there. I’ve earned two degrees in communication, read books about listening, attended workshops on liste

Much attention is given to how to form relationships; however, have you ever learned how to end one? The Exit Voice Loyalty Neglect Model helps us think about our options when we are not satisfied with an existing relationship; but if we choose to exit, the model doesn’t provide much guidance on how to proceed. A better understanding of how to end a relationship can help when resigning from a job, parting ways with a personal or professional organization, or ending a friends

Many of my students secure full time employment at highly respected companies when they graduate. Stable jobs with generous employee...

We experience various levels of tension every day, stemming from personal challenges, work pressures, relationship dynamics, and global events. These tensions are common thread in the human experience, ultimately shaping shaping our responses to the world around us. However, we don't like tension and prefer to resolve it as fast as possible. Pema Chödrön, an American Tibetan Buddhist, writes, “When we feel powerful energy [tension], we tend to be extremely uncomfortable until

The people and ideas we surround ourselves with have implications for everyone at all stages of our personal and professional lives.

What do parents and hostage negotiators have in common? It turns out they both use many of the same communication strategies. That was my...

At the beginning of every semester I tend to have a few students who are so nervous when they present that they make me feel nervous. Research suggests why this happens. Emotions can be contagious. Researchers have found that anxious mothers can unintentionally pass along their anxiety to their children. And it turns out you don’t even need to be in the same room as another person to transfer emotions. Studies have also shown that social media posts can transmit emotions acro