The Basic Communication Model Explained When communication breaks down, we too often label it “miscommunication.” Unfortunately, this word doesn’t help us understand how to improve or prevent similar situations from occurring in the future. An understanding of the basic communication model helps to identify more precise causes of miscommunication and improve the way we communicate with others. The basic communication model depicts communication as a process of sending and rec

A couple years ago I was at an outdoor gathering with a large group of friends and acquaintances. I was standing alone near the door of a pavilion watching my children play in the distance when a friendly woman who I had met a few times walked up and said, “I know you don’t like small talk, but isn’t it a beautiful day?” It was a beautiful day, but I was struck most by what came before her question. She reminded me that I had once told her I struggle with small talk. I do str

Much attention is given to how to form relationships; however, have you ever learned how to end one? The Exit Voice Loyalty Neglect Model helps us think about our options when we are not satisfied with an existing relationship; but if we choose to exit, the model doesn’t provide much guidance on how to proceed. A better understanding of how to end a relationship can help when resigning from a job, parting ways with a personal or professional organization, or ending a friends

Most employees prefer to receive fair and accurate constructive feedback from their managers, and employees who do receive regular feedback that is delivered appropriately perform better. However, most managers avoid giving constructive feedback and when they do give feedback they don’t do it well. Too many managers have not been trained to give performance feedback. In fact, if you have been trained, it’s likely you’ve received bad advice. For example, common advice is to us

A few semesters ago, a confident young man sat in the first row of my introductory management communication course. He was a valuable contributor to the class and, like most of my students, he was a motivated high-achiever. However, when it came time to deliver his first graded presentation, he froze. He appeared anxious from the start: the way he walked to the front of the room, his body language as he held index cards in his hands, and the uncertainty in his voice when he b

Two years ago I organized and facilitated a series of small focus groups in New York City with alumni from the Cornell SC Johnson College...

We are problem solvers, so when faced with a workplace issue, we are wired to focus on solutions. However, research suggests people are...

Many of my students secure full time employment at highly respected companies when they graduate. Stable jobs with generous employee...

Not satisfied? Explore your options. Even the most optimistic among us have good reason to be restless, disappointed, fed up, or even...

In my first full-time job after I graduated from college, I inherited an event planning process that had been in place for many years. The process required five professionals to take turns staffing an office for three hours every afternoon where students who wanted to plan an event would visit and complete a series of paper forms. Staffing the office was a significant time commitment, and the process resulted in a good deal of data entry mistakes when the information was late

With so many issues vying for your attention, having a way to think about how you spend your time and energy is essential. I’m sharing the following story about how I have come to understand the issue of homelessness with the hope that it will give you a new lens with which to see problems in your own life. While participating in a leadership development program over a decade ago, I had the opportunity to tour a homeless shelter and help make breakfast for 40 men. During the

On the first day of my persuasive communication course students are eager to learn how to convince others to see things their way. They want to know how to negotiate employment benefits, get assigned to the best projects, and sell their ideas. But before we learn to persuade others, we discuss how to be critical receivers of persuasive messages. Not only do I want them to think critically about the persuasive arguments their classmates will present during the semester, but I

I once had an acquaintance who was really smart and fun to hang out with, but he had a really bad habit. He told elaborate lies. Research suggests most people lie, on average, one or two times a day. However, this individual’s habit of lying verged on compulsive. Much of what he said was more than exaggerations or misleading; he routinely communicated messages that were deliberately deceiving. He lied with ease and only in hindsight did I recognize his signs of deception. Som

From the pegboard above the stove in my grandmother's kitchen hung utensils, a few small pots, and a metal sign that read: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. When I was old enough to read those words, I thought if my teachers in school encouraged the Golden Rule and my deeply religious grandmother found it important enough to display in her home, it must be important. The maxim was reinforced in college when I learned that the idea is expressed in many religio

The uncertainty brought on by difficult experiences triggers fear in our brains. From an evolutionary perspective, this has helped our species survive. However, in modern times, the fear can lead to anxiety, panic, and poor decision making. Leading in difficult times requires leaders to have high self-awareness, regulate their emotions, and monitor their reactions. A leader’s behavior in these high-stakes situations can determine the fate of their organization. When others ar

Students and executives arrive in my classes and workshops with a desire to improve their communication skills. Without exception...

During my early childhood I learned the value of offering hospitality to others. When we hosted family from out of town, I helped prepare...

In the last few years more students than ever have asked me some version of the following question: “How do I ask good questions?” They...

What do parents and hostage negotiators have in common? It turns out they both use many of the same communication strategies. That was my...

Leaders motivate the actions of others. Parenting isn’t much different. In both roles we want to give those looking to us for guidance...