Whether I’m working with new leaders or those who have decades of experience, I’ve noticed one challenge that comes up again and again:...

How to apply ideas from "How to Win Friends and Influence People" at networking events.

Open and honest questions create space for people to think, feel, and make sense of their own experience. I learned the value of this approach at home before I ever applied it in a professional setting. For many years, when my wife started to describe a problem, my instinct was to solve it. My attention focused on diagnosing the issue and responding with suggestions, based on the belief that helping meant offering answers. Over time, I realized that much of the time my wife w

Think of an interaction that has gone well for both you and the person you were communicating with. Now think of an interaction that didn’t go as well as you would have liked. In the first interaction, you were likely communicating from above the line. In the second, you were likely communicating from below the line. When we communicate from above the line, we are open to new ideas, we ask questions, and we are committed to growth and learning. Conversely, when we communicate

The Basic Communication Model Explained When communication breaks down, we too often label it “miscommunication.” Unfortunately, this word doesn’t help us understand how to improve or prevent similar situations from occurring in the future. An understanding of the basic communication model helps to identify more precise causes of miscommunication and improve the way we communicate with others. The basic communication model depicts communication as a process of sending and rec

by Joyce Sutphen Tilt your head slightly to one side and lift your eyebrows expectantly. Ask questions. Delve into the subject at hand or...

A couple years ago I was at an outdoor gathering with a large group of friends and acquaintances. I was standing alone near the door of a pavilion watching my children play in the distance when a friendly woman who I had met a few times walked up and said, “I know you don’t like small talk, but isn’t it a beautiful day?” It was a beautiful day, but I was struck most by what came before her question. She reminded me that I had once told her I struggle with small talk. I do str

Most meetings aren't memorable, but I recall attending one where an important topic was on the agenda, and I knew leaders within the organization attended with the intent to listen. However, when the dialogue headed in a direction that made one leader uncomfortable, he stopped listening and made a variety of statements I suspect he wishes he could take back. We’ve all been there. I’ve earned two degrees in communication, read books about listening, attended workshops on liste

Most employees prefer to receive fair and accurate constructive feedback from their managers, and employees who do receive regular feedback that is delivered appropriately perform better. However, most managers avoid giving constructive feedback and when they do give feedback they don’t do it well. Too many managers have not been trained to give performance feedback. In fact, if you have been trained, it’s likely you’ve received bad advice. For example, common advice is to us

Two years ago I organized and facilitated a series of small focus groups in New York City with alumni from the Cornell SC Johnson College...

On the first day of my persuasive communication course students are eager to learn how to convince others to see things their way. They want to know how to negotiate employment benefits, get assigned to the best projects, and sell their ideas. But before we learn to persuade others, we discuss how to be critical receivers of persuasive messages. Not only do I want them to think critically about the persuasive arguments their classmates will present during the semester, but I

Students and executives arrive in my classes and workshops with a desire to improve their communication skills. Without exception...

In the last few years more students than ever have asked me some version of the following question: “How do I ask good questions?” They...

When I was a kid I liked eating out at restaurants that included a placemat I could draw on while we waited for our food. My favorite...